Chapter 72 - Submit - Part 2
ELRETH
"If I submit to you… how will I ever be powerful again?" The question was real. Giving up her dominance felt like letting someone put a noose around her neck.
Her heart slammed against her ribs. Arched back like she was, it pressed them together and she wanted it. She wanted all of it. But something twisted and fearful, something that felt weak had been seizing her up inside.
When Aaryn\'s eyes turned pleading and he faltered, that fear spiraled.
But then he said, "That\'s the part you\'re missing—submit, Elreth. Give over. I\'ll never make you small. The only thing I\'ll ever take is your burdens. And I\'ll replace them with… with…"
"With what?"
"Me," he croaked. "El, the only thing I ever want is to make you stronger—but you have to let me." His eyes searched hers, pleading.
She was about to question him again, when she saw it, her mind filtering back through their lives together, all the years, all the moments that had led them to this point.
How, even though she was younger, he\'d only ever used his experience to help her—show her the way, then stood back to applaud while she walked into whatever she chose.
How every time she found herself in any kind of conflict, he put himself at her shoulder, right there. Ready to do battle, but waiting for her lead.
The way he always called her on her bullshit—but not to make her smaller. Instead, he\'d challenge her to do more. Do better. To own whatever was hers to take.
Her heart ached when it finally came home to her that he\'d always loved her this way. He\'d made himself smaller to help her better.
Her mouth dropped open.
"El?" he whispered.
She blinked, remembering the way when she\'d gone to battle with her father and everyone else had run, pushing away, trying to escape their beasts, he\'d run forward and called to help her. Put himself in danger to make sure she had another pair of eyes.
He didn\'t just love her. He made her better. Stronger. Every time.
She suddenly understood why, when he\'d danced with her—had that really only been hours ago?—urging her to let go, and when she had, everything that had been awkward and stumbling had suddenly worked.
He\'d made it beautiful.
He\'d made her feel beautiful.
And all he\'d been doing was showing the way. He didn\'t force her to his will. He didn\'t try to make her something she wasn\'t.
He displayed her at her best—because somehow he knew how to do that.
"El, you\'re scaring me," he whispered.
She blinked again and came back into the present. Aaryn was gaping at her, his brow furrowed.
She locked eyes with him and shook her head. "You\'re incredible, Aaryn," she whispered. "I don\'t deserve you."
He sucked and tipped his head forward, eyes closing in relief. "That\'s just the thing, El," said. "You just don\'t realize that you do. Let me show y—"
"I love you, Aaryn," she panted, arching into him and dropping her head back against the tree. "I trust you."
And for the first time in her life, Elreth willingly bared her throat.
The mating call—deep and resonant—broke in his throat. And because their chests were pressed together, she felt it vibrate in her bones. She closed her eyes and let her arms go slack so he held her weight.
"El," his voice was faint and husky. "Are you sure?"
"You\'re mine, Aaryn," she gasped. "And I\'m yours. To my bones. I don\'t want to do this alone anymore. I don\'t want to walk into any of this without you, please—"
With a guttural moan he took her mouth first, tongue plunging, his entire body quivering. When their lips met she groaned. She couldn\'t resist the taste of him, the tingling pleasure that rode in her stomach whenever he kissed her.
A tiny cry broke in her throat and she sucked in when began to kiss his way down first her jaw, to chin, and down.
Her body wanted to resist, her instincts screaming at her that this was danger, this was risk. But her heart throbbed, and that gorgeous, warm light in her chest broke free again, dancing through her veins as if her blood celebrated.
She pressed her hips against him and let her head loll back, eyes closed, as he tasted his way down the column of her throat.
Her muscles slackened, and the mating call—hers higher, but no less resonant than his—echoed in her chest. She hooked a knee around his leg and he cupped her thigh as he laid his teeth to either side of her jugular.
"Mine," he rasped. "You are mine, Elreth."
"Yes!"
"I vow, I\'ll never hurt you." He grazed his teeth along her throat and she sucked in again as her entire skin sparked alight.
"I know!"
He sucked on her neck, shuddering when she went loose in his grip. She could feel his arousal, hear the puttering growl, a possessive counterpoint to the gentleness of his kiss, and to Elreth, the entire world was made new because he stroked her hair and laved her skin and she suddenly wasn\'t afraid anymore.
She arched back, giving him more room, pleading with him through her panting breaths to take more, as much as he wanted. Her hips writhed. She should have been embarrassed, but all she could do was whimper and plead, as her heart broke open and spilled out all her fear and he… soaked it up.
"I love you, El," he rasped, again and again. "I will love you until the day I die."
And she knew. She knew he was being true. It was like someone had set her free. "I\'m yours, Aaryn!" she gasped and with a groan, he finally released her hands, gathering her into him and they clung, fingers clawed and desperate, her knee hooked over his hip, their bodies pressed and urgent.
She\'d never felt anything like it before. It brought tears to her eyes. He wasn\'t even kissing her anymore, just holding her, pulling her tight into him, stroking her hair and whispering her name.
And she let herself be held. And she let him take her weight.
And for the first time in her life she felt like she\'d found freedom.